If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
