Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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