Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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