I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
