I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I think I am morally bankrupt
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
zippers are such a cool invention
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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