ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
