BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
