yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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