Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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