i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
