$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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