anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
