Where are you?
In a non slutty way
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
