checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
