just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
