that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
