I've blown a few things in my day
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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