In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
