if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
