Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
