Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
