I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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