he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
