omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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