you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
