Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
