I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
