have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
