3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
