is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
