So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
