Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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