No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
