Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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