Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
