This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
