You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
