Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
