That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
