4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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