we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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