I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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