I hope mine doesn't look like that
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
