If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
