im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
