If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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