we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
