Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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