I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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