mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Sponge bath it is.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
