I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
