i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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